Canciones: Padres y hijas

On June 17, El Salvador celebrated Father’s Day. The center and schools were closed so families could spend time celebrating together. It felt like an eternity since I had been able to see some of my students, since the week before I had to leave unexpectedly to Costa Rica to renew my immigration visa.

One of my students the following week came for her piano lesson and we talked about songs she could potentially learn to play for the concert. She named a few and as I wrote them down my attention was grabbed by one Princesas Magicas by Jesus Adrian Romero. Later when I listened to it, I realized that it was a love letter from a father to his daughters and I thought about how my student shared she spent Father’s Day. She shared how thankfully she was able to Skype and letter to her dad, because he lives in Houston, TX.

Then I began to contemplate about the book I have been reading Las Hijas de Juan: Daughters Betrayed by Josie Mendez-Negrete. This book is an autobiography about Josie and focuses on her relationship to her father. He was physically, sexually, and psychologically abusive to her mother, sisters, and herself. I was reminded of one of her reflections about how one of her sister’s would cope with the sexual abuse of her father. She would think of specific songs trying to escape from the devastating reality of what her father was doing to her. Her sister longed for the words of her songs to be more real than the nightmare she found herself in.

The words of this song deepened my appreciation for all the ways my father has been there for me in my life. How much he has loved me and continued to be present. I realized more profoundly how blessed I am to have a father like him. At the same time my heart broke for my student, because I knew she did not have this same dynamic in her life and neither did Josie or her family. And so I kept wondering why my student was so interested in learning this song. Perhaps it is because she wishes that the words of a father expressing such a close and loving relationship were a part of her every reality, or learn it to console herself when she is missing him.

Music has the power to move our hearts and in my time here at Centro Arte para la Paz I have found the greater sacredness of how it moves through us and is shared. It is more than words, it is more than melodies. The gift of music allows for a special kind of solidarity to exist. I hope that with this song my student can feel closer to her father even though thousands of miles and many other complex barriers separate them, Josie and women and children like her can continue to heal and find reconciliation, and for all those who are so blessed to have a good father in their life that they will grow more in their relationship. 

To hear the song click the following link: Princesas Magicas

With my Dad at Lago Suchitlan 

With my Dad at the Monsenor Romero Vigil 

La madre tierra

Cada noche la lluvia viene como los pájaros en la mañana
Cantando con un ritmo
Bien distinto
Y esta mañana las nubes estaban  tocando las montañas con misterio

Abrazos
De cariño
Yo puedo a ver la realidad de
Amor y verdad besando

Estoy
Mirando la tierra
Colorado
Rojo
Con el fuego
La fuerza de la vida
Con plantas verdes
Árboles
Maíz
El cielo celeste
Madre tierra
Esta embarazada y dando fruta cada día

Mi conexión con madre tierra
Es bien profunda
Cuando estaba pequeña
Tocando el suelo de polvo
En la casa de mi abuela
Ella dio un bendición a mi

Yo conozco mi historia
Mi identidad es un ciclo de dolor y alegría
Mirando realidad
Belleza
Pobreza
Con familiaridad

Mi corazón se rompió un millón veces
Enamorarse con la vida
Pero decepcionada con sufrimiento
Hambre
Pocos opciones
Diciendo cuídate de mi amiga con catorce años para los Estados Unidos
Con la opresión
Marginación de mi gente

Sí mi piel es morena
Mi lengua puede decir palabras románticos en español
Expresando mis sentimientos
Con más autenticidad
La frontera cambió
Yo vivió en dos mundos
Sin una lugar que puedo llamar mío
Pero yo buscarme  ademas
En las manos de viejitas
Cocinando tortillas
En el silencio de sus testimonios

Con la madrugada es un nuevo día
Oportunidades interminable de esperanza
Mi deseo es un niño o niña puede comer ahora
Una madre no necesita decidir a salir su país
Un hombre puede tener trabajo
Familias estarán llenas de amor
Amistades pueden buscar confianza
Nuestro mundo puede descubrir paz

Porque la mar estando diciendo secretos
Con cada ola
Compartiendo las historias de nuestros ancestros
Necesitamos escucharla
Y descubrir la verdad de quien somos

Abiertos sus ojos
Toca la tierra con sus pies
Sentí cosas difíciles
Y sigue la llama de su corazón
Debe hacerlo
Madre tierra está esperando
Con paciencia

Que le vaya bien compa
Te creo en vos
Gracias a Dios
Para la
Pura vida

Cuídate: Crossing Worlds

Suchitoto is truly an oasis of El Salvador. The pueblo is simple and beautiful. My life is very different here then what it was before in the capital. Although I am teaching music and art, my students continue to teach me things that cause me to reflect upon my life and my passions.

This week a student shared with me she will be leaving for the US. I met her about three weeks ago when I went to her school and introduced the class that Centro is offering. She came the following day with a group of her friends to sign up for piano. The following week she was so excited to start with lessons she came an hour early. I was teaching my art class so I invited her to paint with us. She really liked the class and so she signed up to continue with art too.

Last week she invited me and the other volunteers to come to their school for a fundraiser, where the teachers sold typical Salvadoran platos of pan de pollo and enchiladas. I saw my group from piano and girls from my other classes. As we said hello to all the girls, she came up to me and said, “I am so happy you came. I didn’t think you all would come.” I responded, “But of course, we would love to support you and your school.” Her beautiful smile then came as it normally does, then we chatted for a while longer while we waited for our food.

Today she came to classes and like most of my students these past few weeks started asking me lots of questions about where I am from, what countries have I been to, what I am studying and so forth. When I shared with the girls in my art class that I am studying Peace and Justice, she responded like most people, “So you’re going to be a lawyer?” I chuckled and said, “No, not exactly. My major focuses on injustice that people experience and promoting their human rights and dignity. For example, I work a lot with the Immigration Movement in the states, because migrants do not have laws in my country to ensure their human rights are respected.” Later she shared with me that later this week, she would be leaving for the US. My heart broke in that moment. Here was this beautiful fourteen year old girl drawing with me in art class, who after today I would not see again. Even in moments when she would share her grand smile, I could see a sadness and pain in her eyes to say goodbye to her life here. Her friends in art and piano all told her how they didn’t want her to go, and yet this sort of despidida for them felt all too familiar.

In Suchitoto, a large number of families have family member who has left for the states. In the canton El Sitio, I go to teach music at in the school Fridays, only one out of about a hundred families does not have family member in the US. It is very common here when children are about 14- 16 their parents will send them to the states. Another one of my students shared with me during our first piano lesson together her friend had recently left for the US, he is only 15.

There are many reasons for migration: war, violence, poverty, hunger are a few of the major factors. The poverty of El Salvador has continued to cause many people to migrate to the US in hopes of a way to support their families. El Salvador struggles with a mixture of these complexities poverty and violence being the strongest forces. The poverty of El Salvador effects many people and is manifested in various realities, and as I said, “Cuidate” to my student today she reminded me of this immense complexity.

My time here constantly leaves me reflecting about my involvement with Immigration back in the US. I understand this subject is highly controversial and political, but my hope in sharing this story with you is to provoke a deeper contemplation as to why people would ever leave their country, especially children-like this girl at 14 years old. Immigration is more than a political discussion or proposal for reform; it is a daily reality for people all over the world.

I feel extremely blessed to have known my student leaving now, and many Salvadorans in their sufferings with migration. To walk with them in this painful reality, where families are separated by miles and fronteras because the lack of options create only one to survive- to leave everything you know and love of your own country for another. I know when I return to the US and continue to fight for the dignity and rights of migrants; I will not just be walking with those present in the US but holding their families in my heart. Forever I will carry their stories, memories of their faces and smiles, and this is something that no amount of migrant oppression or lack of political reform can eliminate. Love is greater than boarders. Solidarity does not have boundaries. And I will never forget her, because every time I say cuidate she will be presente. 

El Centro Arte para la Paz

Now that I have finished by Study Abroad program, I am volunteering at El Centro Arte para la Paz in Suchitoto, El Salvador. El Centro Arte para la Paz was created ten years ago from a dream of Sr. Peggy O’Neill.  This space serves as a place where youth and community members can participate in various classes and activities, but most are of music and art. After the Civil War from 1980-1992 the lasting effects of trauma have continued to affect the lives of many Salvadorans and the current struggle with gang violence throughout El Salvador. El Centro Arte para la Paz is a space in response to these larger issues, promoting peace and self-expression.   

During my time here I will teach piano, choral, guitar, and art classes to kids from the community. I will be at El Centro Arte para la Paz until the end of July. I feel very blessed to have this time to work with Sr. Peggy and continue to live with the Salvadoran people. My hope is to share my talents and knowledge with them as generously as they continue to open their lives to me. 

My Praxis Final Reflection Video

This video is a summary of my experience accompanying families in Mariona during my time with Casa de la Solidaridad. Please see the link below:

Praxis Site Reflection

Refleciones de Semana Santa

“This is the night. At this time of the early Church it was not a time of joy as we celebrate today. It was (a night) a time of crisis. The kid of crisis we felt the night Monseñor Romero was killed. The kinds of night we have lived after members of our families disappeared and were assonated.”

The night the world has known from the darkness of war, the violence of hatred, the actions of imperialism, colonialism, capitalism, patriarchy. The world has waited in silence of destruction, natural disasters, and trauma. We are always waiting in hope for peace and justice to Reign. The splendor of the Glory that rises each morning with the sun comes with an opportunity to live once more.
Our lives are a constant cycle of life, death, and resurrection. We are born with each dawn of the morning and continue onward like the constant waves of the ocean. We are connected to everything, especially in suffering. We have the lives of the saints to illuminate our struggle with sincere hope in the truth and existence of peace and justice. The sacrifice of the martyrs, lives of saints, those who have given their whole lives for the greater good of humanity give us hope that love conquers all things. In fact that one day the great night of crisis will end.

Women will not weep at the death of their children from malnutrition, violent massacres by armies or gangs marking territories. Children will not be separated from their parents by thousands of miles and boarders of other countries or be put to rest each night with the sound of bullets and bombs exploding as common as the sound of rain drops. Men will not be tormented by the scars of war, memories of darkness consuming their existence into fatal addictions.
We know and believe that this can be transformed because of the sacrif
ice of Jesus Christ and the life of the Virgin Mary. Death does not conquer our existence. Rather we are liberated because of love. For this we have the cross, with the arms of Christ wide open willing to receive us and the eyes of the Virgin Mary looking upon us with care.

We have hope with every moment of laughter and joy in breaking bread together. We have hope because we are walking in this journey together in all our struggles. We share the pains of our crucifixion, the anticipation of our nights waiting. Like John the Beloved Disciple and the Virgin Mary at the foot of the cross, the fidelity of hope is present for the strength of love cannot be broken by fear. The whole-hearted reality in which we live comes with vulnerability, baring ourselves to one another in authenticity. We are transformed. Each day is a revelation of our interconnectedness and experience of solidarity. Together we live; together we die, and together we rise. This is the eternal mystery in which we believe to be true. We are rooted in the tree that became the cross and upon eternal love sacrificed. Let us hope!

Via Cruses en Chaletanango


Campesino en la via cruses


San Ramon Vigilia

Vamos Tod@s

Vamos todos al banquete,
a la mesa de la creación,
cada cual con su taburete,
tiene un puesto y una misión.

Standing in front of three crosses
With words written from
A simple homily once spoken
By Monsenor Romero
About a man from the campo
Who became a priest
And saw the suffering of the poor
Calling forth for justice
His name was Padre Rutillo Grande

Padre Rutillo came to Auguilares
Preaching the Gospel with his life
Teaching campesinos how to read
How to think from themselves
Speak
Finding the Word of God
In their suffering
Realizing the will of God was never to be
In misery
Never to be hungry
But to work for the Kingdom
To fight for justice and truth

The Reign of God
Where everyone can come
To the banquet
At the table of creation
With their own stool or seat
Knowing that we of course
Share this mission of life

Hoy me levanto muy temprano,
ya me espera la comunidad,
voy subiendo alegre la cuesta,
voy en busca de tu amistad.

I stood their reflecting
On the lives of the old man
And young boy
Who were killed with Padre Rutillo Grande
Contemplating the reality
They probably woke up early that morning
As they did each day
With their community
To work in fields tending corn and sugar cane
Finding the joys in the way of life
And walking in friendship
With Padre Rutillo down the road that night

Vamos todos al banquete,
a la mesa de la creación,
cada cual con su taburete,
tiene un puesto y una misión.

And here I am
Before the tombas
Of these three
Martyrs
Who laid down their lives
In love of their country
Love of their Savior
Suffered persecution
Oppression
From a military
Funded and trained by my own nation

I kneel here
With my soul deeply rooted
And my heart bleeding
Realizing the weight of my US
Privilege and responsibility
In the midst of this time of accompaniment

Listening to the stories
Of Oti
Share about her father
And how he once knew Padre Rutillo
How we came all this way
Just to sit and be present in the presence
Of his body
And how that meant so much

Contemplating the reality
Padre Rutillo was Monsenor Romero’s
Mejor amigo
And how Salvador changed
With the call of unica misa
To reflect upon the lives of these three martyrs
Who may have died
On March 12, 1977
But are resurrected
In the memory an commemoration
With every Eucharistic celebration

For we are all called to this eternal banquet
At this table of creation
Bringing our own seat and stool if need be
To be together breaking bread
In unity
Welcoming all of humanity
Especially those who condemn me
For we are called to be
Family
Una familia humana
Vamos tod@s
4.15.14

Memorial of Padre Rutillo, Nelson, and Manuel


Tomba de Padre Rutillo Grande


Tombas en La Ingelsia Paisnal