Lasso en mi corazon

This past week I had the blessing of my dad coming to visit and sharing my life here in El Salvador with him. When I first saw him on Monday after a very full day at Praxi he told me, "It is very evident that you are deeply invested here. Why are so invested?" I tried to explain but I knew as the week progressed he would see and understand why I have such a fuerte lasso en mi corazon (strong pull on my heart).

Wednesday we went to praxi in Mariona. The families we accompany were so excite to meet our parents and embraced them with such immense love in the same way they embrace us. It is hard to describe but truly an example of agape if I ever knew one. We shared many stories and with one another as well as coffee and meditation. It was beautiful to see the deep confianza that was created between our families.

As we talked after lunch about the war, Lolo opened up in away that myself and my praxis partner had never seen him before. I could see a suffering in his eyes before he began to share his story. These are his words:

We share our experiences with you because it helps us heal from the very difficult things we have experienced. Sometimes people say, you must like to suffer because you talk about the war so much. That is not true. We do not share because we like to suffer. We share because it is important to remember and we cannot carry these sufferings by ourselves. And I want to share this story with you. I come from Sumpul in Chaletango. I am one of about 30 to 25 people who survived a massacre there. All of my friends who I played with when I was a boy were killed. All of them are gone. My pueblo is gone. Nothing exists there any more. No one lives there any more. I don't know why I wasn't killed. I believe it is the plan of God that I am here. Gracias a Dios I have my life, because I am able to be here today with all of you. In all my pain and suffering, God has been with me and I feel God's presence in you all here with me now.

Before I came here I learned about El Salvador mostly through Romero House at Regis, but also from the stories of my friends. One of my best friends at Regis Mahalah has been to El Salvador twice in high school and in her room she always has a picture of a particular mural from here. I remember especially during our first year how she would share with me about her experiences with Salvadorans and how deeply they impacted her life. She also shared with me about this particular mural and how it has helped her understand peace and justice.

This is a mural at the Monument of Memory and Truth called "Justicia y Paz" This memorial has all the names of innocence who were killed and disappeared during the war. This memorial has over 30,000 names. These were people who were not involved in the army or the guerilla. In the final section it has listed all of the massacres happened during the war.

I did not know the name of this mural when I came here. I just knew I really wanted to see it and share that first experience with my dad. I asked different people if they knew the mural and where it was and thankfully one of my housemates knew where it was. So I decided to take my dad with me on Thursday afternoon, to share this experience.

When we arrived I shared with him the story of what the different symbols and parts represented in the history of El Salvador from what Mahalah had shared with me our freshman year at Regis. We then spent time reading the names of the killed and disappeared. And at the end we stood in front of the names of the massacres. I shared with my dad the names of which Oti had shared she had been present at and which occurred in the communities she worked with. Then I showed him the name of the massacre of the pueblo of Lolo from the story he shared with us from the day before. We both stood in silence and I began to cry. I could feel the lasso en mi corazon in solidarity with the pain I saw in Lolo's eyes. I felt the loss he shared with us. I felt the loss because of the love and care I have for him, Oti, and their family. My heart is lassoed here and to have this opportunity to share this experience with my dad allowed for my many worlds to come together in such a profound way.

Mariona Praxi Semana de Familia


Con mi papi en La Vigilia de Romero


"Justicia y Paz"


Memorial of Massacares

La Puerta

We can look out the same door and see completely different things, as I contemplate her future and my own.


This is a painting I created of a little girl Jasmin from Mariona. She is seven years old. One afternoon I was eating lunch at her house and talking with her mother Kenny. Kenny was asking me questions about how my classes were going at the UCA and more questions about my studies. I was telling her about how I have one year left and will be working on my thesis next year. She was asking me what the topic of my thesis was and as I started to respond, David her three year old called for her as he often does and she went to check on him.

This day was particularly hot, so the front window and door was open. However, because of the gang violence present in Mariona most people have iron doors in front of their regular one. When Kenny left to get David, I found myself looking out the door at the street in Mariona and contemplating things of my future. How will I carry this experience with me? Thinking of the different possibilities of what I could do and how I could work. Then Jasmin came in front of the door and started playing. At first she was climbing the door trying to see farther out, but later started to play with some of her little plastic dolls. At one point she even got one of the dolls stuck by the latch and I helped her get it out. We both laughed a little and shared with Kenny what happened. Then Jasmin sat down in front of the door and started to play with her dolls on the iron moldings. As I watched her, I realized something very profound. I realized the kind of poverty that we accompany in Mariona. I realized that Jasmin, in first grade at the public school, might not have the chance to go to college. I realized that the art classes we have are her only time for creative expression. I started to question, what will she remember when she is older from the English classes we share on Wednesdays? I began to realize we were looking out the same door, looking at the same street, coming from completely different realities.

The image of her looking out the door marked my mind and heart. I began to think so much of my family, especially my cousins. I began to realize in a new light the dynamic of my privilege in relation to my family and the families I accompany in Mariona. I realized in a new light the struggle of my parents to work so hard to receive their education and allow me to have this opportunity to attend University and even Study Abroad. I could see the inequality in my opportunities to have things in a way some of my cousin have not. I began to think about how I would play with my cousins when I was little and how we all come from the same family, but now have ended up in various realities.

I think that the iron door way expresses the struggle we share to overcome certain obstacles. I don't know what either mine or Jasmin's future holds. I feel so blessed to be here for many reasons, but especially for that moment. I know I will carry it with me forever in my heart, because it grounds me in away that expresses the dynamic of my discernment here.

Elecciones Presidenciales en El Salvador 2014

The official announcement has been made that the FMLN has won the Salvadoran Presidential Election by 6,000 votes. The second round of elections were 50.12% FMLN and 49.88% Arena, which took place on Sunday, March 9. The Arena party had challenged the electoral process because of how close the votes were. This then delayed the official declaration of the FLMN as the winner of the election. International observers expressed that this election, including the voting and counting process, were the most transparent in Salvadoran political history. The United States also made a statement that process was transparent and would respect the democratic process of El Salvador the week prior. The democratic process of El Salvador elects the presidential candidate by popular vote, and the law states that even if there is a one vote difference the party with the majority has won the election. This election has been a profoundly historical moment for El Salvador. The statement has been made that this is the greatest historical event since the Peace Accords of 1992. Today the US government through Secretary of Defense, John Kerry made an official statement of congratulations and recognition of the newly elected Salvadoran President Sanchez.